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Battling Romance Myths Part II

Battling Romance Myths

Sometimes holding on to the myths and old-fashioned views of relationships and marriage are all that hold couples back from having a truly wonderfully fulfilling and happy relationship. It is important to recognize your spouse and his or her own special individual with so much to offer you and your relationship if you love, support and respect your partner.

Encouraging your partner through support, understanding and appreciation are crucial to breaking through stereotypes and the myths that surround relationships between men and women. Working through and dismissing that type of information as old-fashioned, irrelevant and flat-out wrong can open doors in your marriage you didn’t even know were closed.

Read: Battling Romance Myths Part I

When things become tense between you and your partner, keep in mind some of the stereotypes you might be clinging to and work to dispel them from your psyche. For example, if one of you or both of you believe that romance is the best way to hide or disguise your faults, it simply isn’t the case.

Someone who is not a nice person doesn’t miraculously change because they present their spouse with flowers. That spouse still isn’t a nice person. Romantic gestures may disguise some faults for a short time, but a person’s true self always come through. If you are realistic about who you are and your expectations of each other, then romance can work wonders to improve your relationship.

If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile and if you married them you most likely would have seen it by now. There isn’t any truth to this particular saying and it only sets us up to be suspicious of someone who really hasn’t done anything in order to earn our suspicion. If you give a little bit consistently, you will be satisfying your partner and they won’t need that extra. If you don’t ever give or give so infrequently that your efforts are forgotten, your spouse has every right to demand a mile from you. Give him or her an inch and enjoy the journey down the rest of the mile together.

If you think that once you marry someone that you can change him or her, you are in for a rude awakening. You cannot change a person, yet you can make an impact on how they may see things, you can help them adjust to new or unfamiliar ways of thinking and you can always resort to manipulation, but nothing will change or even fix your spouse. Never manipulate or push your partner into a direction he or she resists. You may be the one who needs to alter his or her way of thinking or viewing things. You may be able to do that on your own or require the help of a therapist in order to show you the skills you need for better understanding and acceptance of you and your spouse.

If you feel there are problems between you and your spouse due to personality conflicts, try working together to learn how to express thoughts and feelings better and more productively. If you are both in love, you will find the romance in there somewhere.

To help improve your marriage, get Michael Webb's "1000 Questions For Couples" book.

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